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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25787707">Supernova</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princess0611/pseuds/Princess0611'>Princess0611</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Book: New Moon, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:40:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,764</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25787707</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princess0611/pseuds/Princess0611</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Edward abandons Bella in the forest, she decides to do something about it and sets out to find her lost family. It's hard for me to accept that Bella would just accept the fact that they left her, she's strong enough that she would have done more about it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlisle Cullen &amp; Bella Swan, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Goodbyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My heart was racing, my body was covered in a cold sweat. The nightmares didn’t stop. I woke up Charlie every night to the sound of my screams. Sometimes multiple times a night. I felt guilty that he was so worried about me, but I had never felt more helpless. I was constantly scared and angry. I had never felt more alone, more abandoned.</p>
<p>How could Edward have done this to me? There was a time, not that long ago, where he promised me an eternity of happiness and immortality. One wrong move, one slip up while opening a gift at my 18th birthday party, and all of those promises were torn to shreds. I wiped away a tear. I tried not to think about that day, but the memory replayed on an endless loop. I saw Jasper’s eyes, wild with hunger, his arms reaching for me. I barely registered Edward throwing me backwards against the table. Carlisle rushed to my side while Emmett dragged his brother from the house. I remembered while Carlisle lovingly inspected my wounds, Edward’s face was angry, his eyes miles away in thought. I knew now that in that moment, he had already made his decision, while Carlisle pored over me with such kindness and care. </p>
<p>Something clicked into place in my mind. Edward never gave me the chance to say goodbye to the others before he tore them from my life. I know Carlisle still cared for me. He didn’t make those rash decisions like Edward did, and even called me his daughter before I became one of them. Carlisle and Esme weren’t afraid for my future. They would take me back. I needed them. I needed my best friend and soul sister Alice. I wondered what my future looked like to her now. I only saw emptiness in front of me, and I didn’t know how much longer I could go on like this. I felt broken. I needed to apologize to Jasper, and tell him that I never blamed him for a second. It was only in his nature, he had always been sweet to me, even if he warned me to keep my distance. I smiled for the first time in months. I had a plan. </p>
<p>I grabbed my laptop and started making a list of potential cities that the Cullens could have moved to. My goal was to find Carlisle. I needed him first. He would convince Edward not to push me away again. I started with a list of every mid-major city in the northern US and in Canada. I ruled out any city that was too overly populated. I knew they wouldn’t settle in the bigger cities, they always stayed a little off the beaten path. Next, I sorted by climate, and removed any location that was too warm and sunny. I organized my list by the cities that had the most rainfall and the most overcast days per year. My list was narrowing quickly, my feet started tapping excitedly as I typed faster. </p>
<p>I searched for the type of wildlife near each one. If there weren’t bears, deer, wolves, and other Cullen staples nearby, I crossed it out. My heart skipped a beat at the thought of wolves. </p>
<p>Jacob Black, the cute boy from the reservation had been badgering me nonstop, and I had a feeling that maybe we could have been friends if he wasn’t so damn annoying. I recently found out that Jacob and his friends were werewolves, descended from the Quileute wolves that lived many generations ago and crossed paths with the Cullens before. Nice kids for the most part, but Jacob was something else. He was arrogant, as if he felt entitled to me, just because I had been kind to him before. As soon as Edward disappeared, though, things changed quickly. </p>
<p>“Bella,” He would say. “I can take care of you. I’d never leave you like he did.” He would try to grab my hand before I pushed him away. “Give me a chance. You wouldn’t even have to change for me. You can love me exactly as you are.” His words bounced around in my head. He was relentless. Jacob would show up at my house, at my school, at the hardware store where I worked, and I turned him down every time. He would smile at me and say, “Give it time, you’ll change your mind. I know you haven’t forgotten about him yet.” My hands balled into fists at the memory of him saying it. I would never forget my love for Edward. We definitely had a lot of work to do when I found him again, but I knew in my heart that we were mates. </p>
<p>Of course, Edward had explained to me that the true bond of being someone’s mate didn’t truly appear until after both partners were vampires, but Alice had assured me that we were meant to me, and it made me incredibly happy that we would be even more connected after I was changed. I saw the bond that Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and Esme, and Emmett and Rosalie had, and I wanted it desperately. There was something incredibly powerful about seeing two people that literally held the other half of each others’ souls. It was beautiful and enchanting to see the way they looked at each other, and always would. </p>
<p>I turned back towards my list of cities. For each one, I found every hospital in its vicinity. Once I had the list of all of the addresses, I entered every single one into Google Maps. I fidgeted anxiously while it slowly calculated my route, hitting every one of the stops. After a few minutes, it pulled up my road trip. It would take several days and wound across the entire country. I saved it to my phone, and tried to get a few hours of sleep. Tomorrow would be a big day.<br/>
***</p>
<p>In the morning, I tried to pretend like everything was normal. Charlie seemed to be in a good mood. I put my frozen waffles in the toaster, and watched him read the paper, coffee mug in hand. I stared at his face intently, fully aware that it may be the last time I ever see him. It took everything in my power to make my face look like my usual expression. </p>
<p>“Any plans today, Dad?” I tried to smile.</p>
<p>“Yeah, the weather is beautiful today, Bells. I’ve got a few things to take care of at the station, and then Harry and I are going fishing. Probably won’t be home until late, you’ll be alright for dinner?” He looked up from the paper.</p>
<p>“Sure, I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. You know how I am, I’m good on my own.” I grimaced.</p>
<p>“How did you sleep? You seemed a little quieter than usual. Are you starting to feel better?” He stared at my face too intently. </p>
<p>“Um. Yeah a little maybe. It comes and goes. I got a few hours of sleep, so I’ll be okay.” I tried to remember my usual emotion for this conversation that we had had too many times. Luckily my waffles popped out of the toaster, giving me an excuse to turn away. </p>
<p>Charlie was out of the house shortly after. I still had a few minutes before I had to leave for school, so once I was sure I was alone, I gave myself some time to grieve. I would miss Charlie terribly, but if I didn’t go after the Cullens, there was no way for me to pull myself out of this rut. I knew I was meant to be with him. I had never felt more in step with the world, more like myself, and who I wanted to be, than when I was with them. My personal life before I met them was so chaotic, bouncing back and forth between parents, moving to different cities, I never managed to find out who I am. Then I met Edward, and the stars aligned. I met the rest of his family, and the stability and happiness they brought me was unparalleled. I only hoped that Charlie would find that same feeling one day, even long after I’ve disappeared from Forks. </p>
<p>I looked down at my tear stained waffles, and tried to stomach a little bit of food before I drove to school. I decided to use it to my advantage, and fake an illness to get out of school and prepare for my trip. With mascara streaked down my face, and my hands on my stomach as my anxiety turned my insides inside out, I was quickly sent to the nurse’s office during the first period, and excused to go home. </p>
<p>I drove to the grocery store, stocked up on snacks, bottled water, medical supplies, and an auto repair kit. I packed my car with everything I could ever need. I didn’t have a ton of money, so I planned on sleeping most nights in my car. The backseat was converted into a bed, I took the blankets and pillows from my bed. I had toiletries and cases of bottled water.  I figured I would need to stay in a motel occasionally because I would need to shower, but that would have to be rare, I calculated how many nights I could afford and cringed. On the front seat next to me I decided to keep my emergency supplies. I had a medical kit, flashlights, batteries, and my passport. I hoped nobody would check me too closely, because I was going to be crossing the border back and forth several times as I made my way east. Next, I made my way to the trunk. I had an extra can of gasoline, tools to change a tire, and other minor car repairs if needed. With any remaining space, I tried to fit in some of my clothes and other personal belongings. I took my computer, a few of my favorite books, and my beloved teddy bear. When the rear axle of the car started to sag, I realized it was time to stop procrastinating on the task I had dreaded most. </p>
<p>I still had at least several hours until Charlie would be home, but I felt the need to work fast just in case. I pulled into the driveway of my house for the last time, and wasted no time. I needed to start driving soon. I couldn’t wait any longer. My excitement was building inside of me. I rushed into my room and found a sheet of paper and a pen. I sat down and took a deep breath. Here we go. </p>
<p>
  <i>Dear Dad,<br/>
First of all I want to say that I’m really sorry. I know I’ve put you through hell these past few months, and I’ve been feeling like hell too. I’m leaving to go find the Cullens. I need them in my life, and I have a feeling that they need me too. I’m lost without them. I love you so much, but they are the family that I wished I always had, and if I don’t do this, there will always be a hole in my heart.<br/>
I wish there was a better way to do this, but I couldn’t wait any longer, this is the only way I’ll ever be able to find happiness again. Please don’t come looking for me, and try not to tell too many people where I am. I don’t mean to cause trouble. If I can’t find them, I’ll come home. If I don’t come back, that means I’ve found them, and I am truly happy again. I hope you can find that same joy.<br/>
Please try not to worry about me. I’m doing what’s best for me. I love you forever.<br/>
Bella</i>
</p>
<p>With the note on the kitchen table, I got back in my car and drove away as fast as I could.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Baby Steps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I had barely started my drive when trouble hit. I was reaching the outskirts of Forks, and my spirits were high. Apparently the sadness wasn’t going to hit until later. I started to speed up as I approached the freeway, when a huge shape appeared on the road in front of me. Of course it would happen to me, there was nobody else around for miles. As I got closer, the shape started to take form. It was huge, fluffy, deep reddish brown chestnut hair, and dark black intelligent eyes staring back at me. Jacob. My heart dropped into my stomach. I didn’t want to deal with his cocky attitude, and I certainly didn’t want him reporting back to Charlie. I was going to have to be careful what I said. There was no way out of this conversation. I pulled to the side of the road as he shifted back into human form. </p>
<p>	“Where are you in such a hurry to?” He sneered. “Beautiful girl like you, you finally got a hot date out of town?” He winked. </p>
<p>	“No, Jacob. It’s none of your business. Please get out of my way. I’m in a hurry.” I knew full well that wouldn’t satisfy him. </p>
<p>	He stood in the middle of the road, barefoot, cutoff denim shorts, and bare chested as always. I briefly remembered Edward saying ‘Doesn’t he own a shirt?’ . The memory reminded me of the urgency of my mission. I crossed my arms defensively. “What do you want, Jake?”</p>
<p>	He smiled and took a step closer to me. My car packed with supplies caught his eye. His face suddenly became more serious. “Where the hell are you going with all this stuff? You wouldn’t leave Forks. I remember you saying you were going to stay here until he came back for you. What if he comes back while you’re gone, hmm?” He tried to sneer, but the pieces suddenly clicked into place in his head. His eyes widened. </p>
<p>“You’re going to find them, aren’t you?” He demanded. “They don’t want you anymore, Bella. Why can’t you accept that? Why can’t you fall in love with someone who is actually good for you? Why would you chase after those monsters?” His voice grew steadily angrier. “Charlie would have preferred that you choose me.” At those words, something snapped inside of me. I had had it with him. </p>
<p>“Because the other person that is in love with me is also a monster. Not the kind that haunts your nightmares, but the real kind of monster. The kind that makes my life a living hell and torments me every single damn day. The type of monster that thinks pestering me constantly while I’m going through hell and back is going to make me fall in love with him.” My voice cracked as I tried to keep my composure. “And I don’t care what Charlie thinks is best for me anymore! I need to find what makes me happy, and it’s sure as hell not you.” I had been falling apart at the seams these past few months, and Jacob’s persistence made it so much worse. “There was a time when you had the potential to be a good friend when I really needed one, Jake. And you screwed it up so bad, because you can’t accept the choices I’ve made. My life is not yours to decide.” I said firmly. I tried to be strong. </p>
<p>He seemed shocked at my proclamation. “Fine. If you ever change your mind, I’ll be here.” He promised, but of course he couldn’t keep his attitude in check for long. “I hope you find the demons you’re looking for.” He added sarcastically. </p>
<p>He gave up at this point and turned away. The wolf appeared in his place, and bounded off into the woods. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>A few hours later, I was at my first destination. A small suburb outside of Vancouver called Abbotsford. I knew that wouldn’t be this close, but it would kill me if this search wasn’t thorough. The Cullens for sure wouldn’t remain in Washington, but what if they were just on the other side of the border? So here I was, at Abbotsford Regional Hospital, the first stop of many, I assumed. </p>
<p>I parked my car towards the back of the parking lot, giving myself a few minutes to scan the lot for a black Mercedes. I didn’t know much about cars, but I swore to myself that I would recognize it if I saw it. I made my way towards the front door, passing several black cars, but none of them stood out to me. It was important that I established a routine of how I was going to go about this. I was definitely going to have to do this a lot, possibly hundreds of times. </p>
<p>Inside, I approached the front desk. Time to practice the first draft of my prepared speech. The receptionist looked up at me and smiled. “Can I help you?” She wore a cute red blouse, her dark hair pulled up in a severe bun. </p>
<p>“Hi, yeah.” I leaned in a bit, I didn’t want to draw any attention to myself, especially if any of Carlisle’s coworkers knew he was possibly hiding from me. “I was looking for a specific doctor that I wanted to interview for a piece. I’m a journalist, if I give you his name would you be able to tell me if he’s associated with this hospital?” I had a few different pitches planned, I wanted to test this one out first to see if it was believable. </p>
<p>“Of course!” She turned to her computer, fingers ready at the keyboard. “Name, please?”</p>
<p>“Dr. Carlisle Cullen?” I said softly. I hoped my nervousness wasn’t noticeable. I was never a good liar. </p>
<p>She typed for a moment, her brow furrowed. “I’m sorry, I can’t find anyone here with that name. Is there anyone else I can search for you?” She was definitely the overly helpful type. </p>
<p>“No, thank you anyway. I’ll keep looking. Have a good day.” I quickly turned away, back out to the car. One hospital down. I obviously knew that there was almost no chance that he would be in the first city I stopped in, but the realization of how long and tedious this journey could be started to sink in. </p>
<p>My next stop was a few hours away, and it was starting to get dark. I needed to strategize. Hospitals were open 24 hours a day, but there was no way a journalist would come in late at night asking for an interview. I would need to coordinate when I was driving, and for how long, so that I could get to each place at a reasonable hour. I decided to drive until I got close to my next destination, and get there early in the morning, so hopefully I could hit at least two places tomorrow. </p>
<p>My drive was fairly uneventful. I enjoyed watching the sunset over the beautiful British Columbia scenery. This was a lovely place, I only wished I could allow myself to stop and enjoy it. </p>
<p>When I arrived on the outskirts of Calgary, Alberta, the sky was almost completely dark. I found the hospital I was looking for, drove into the wooded area behind it, and decided to wait until morning. With my car hidden in the trees, yet not too far away from help if I needed it, it seemed safe enough to get some rest. I locked the doors, set the alarm, and climbed into the backseat. I suddenly realized how tired I was. The adrenaline from the first day of this adventure vanished into thin air, and I was asleep within minutes. </p>
<p>When I awoke, the sunrise peaked through the trees, and I had a chance to see how beautiful the landscape around me was. I saw a few deer roaming in the distance, and I was sure there were more animals around if I dared to look a little farther. Being only a few hundred yards from the hospital, I could see how this spot would appeal to Carlisle. </p>
<p>I changed clothes, brushed my hair and made myself presentable. When nobody was around, I made my way back onto the main road, and pulled around into the hospital’s parking lot. Again, I scanned my surroundings for that luxury car like nobody else had. The lot was huge, so I assured myself that he could be parked in another section, and I confidently made my way inside. </p>
<p>At the front desk, I repeated my blurb about being a journalist looking to interview a specific doctor. The man at the counter raised an eyebrow at me like he didn’t quite buy it, but he didn’t care enough to question me further. I was quickly turned away when his search turned up nothing. </p>
<p>Over the next few weeks, I made my way east, winding back and forth across the Canadian-American border. When I planned ahead, I was able to stop at at least 2-3 hospitals per day during regular hours. At least once a week, I would stay in a hotel so that I could have a real shower and a good night’s sleep. I restocked on food, water, and gasoline, buying as many gas cans as I could afford. At times, I was driving hundreds of miles without seeing any civilization, and I didn’t dare risk getting stranded anywhere. A lot of the driving was tedious and boring, but I tried to appreciate the majesty of the world around me. I learned how little of the world I had seen and how much more I wanted to explore. I had the chance to drive through the Rocky Mountains, and the great plains of the Dakotas. At times I ran into some interesting people in stores and hotels. I tried to keep to myself as much as possible to keep a low profile, but at times the loneliness would get to me. </p>
<p>A few times I almost considered reaching out to Jacob, the only person that I knew how to get in touch with, and who knew the truth. That thought brought me some comfort, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I was starting to get discouraged. </p>
<p>***<br/>Another month had passed. I was starting to look and feel terrible. The bags under my eyes didn’t fade, no matter how much I slept. I mostly lived off of snack food that I could store in my car. I rarely got carry out food, depending on where I was. I was nearly out of money, and I desperately needed supplies. I had a few days of rations that I kept in a separate box in my trunk, which was specifically for if I abandoned this trip, and went straight back to Forks, I would have enough to get me straight there, no stops. I was tired of driving, tired of looking, tired of convincing myself that this had been a good idea.</p>
<p>I was somewhere in northern Vermont, shortly after crossing the border back into the US, after a few treacherous days of my non-French speaking self trying to navigate through Quebec. What if they had gone overseas? Carlisle was originally from London. There was a chance he might want to go back to England. Would they do that?</p>
<p>I looked at my list of stops. Next up was the Central Vermont Medical Center, only a few miles away. I tried to fix my hair and put on a little bit of makeup so that I looked a little less homeless, but it didn’t do much good. It was pretty obvious that I had been through hell. I had recently changed my tactic, from journalist, to desperate homeless person looking for a doctor. When you seemed crazy enough, most hospitals were quick to search for Carlisle when I asked, but of course every single one had said no.</p>
<p>When I went to park my car at this hospital, something caught my eye. Something sleek, shiny, black, parked right near the front door. I got closer to it. It was definitely a Mercedes. My heart jumped into my throat and pounded so loud it hurt terribly. My stomach tensed up so tightly and my knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. I stared at the car until someone laying on their horn pulled me out of my reverie to remind me that I am still driving a car. I found a spot as quickly as I could, took only a second to try to compose myself, and then dashed towards the door. I paused only for a moment to deliberately brush against the Mercedes, running my fingers over the door handle. Just in case we didn’t cross paths, he would find my scent, and know that I was looking for him. Deep breaths. </p>
<p>I whirled through the revolving door and ran too quickly towards the receptionist desk. An older woman with long blonde hair stood up from the front desk. “Are you alright, miss?” She called out to me. Clearly I looked as terrible as I felt. </p>
<p>I walked over to her, trying to seem calm. “Yes, sorry, I’ve had a crazy day. Could you tell me if a doctor named Carlisle Cullen works here?” I bit my lip nervously.</p>
<p>She seemed surprised by the question, but she nodded. “Yes, he’s here, did you have an appointment?”</p>
<p>My entire body stopped working. I forgot how to speak. I wanted to cry. I felt faint. She waited patiently for me to respond. </p>
<p>“Um, no, but it’s an urgent matter, could you point me to where he might be?” I begged.</p>
<p>My desperation must have worked on her. For a moment I thought she wasn’t going to tell me, but I was prepared to go into every single damn room in this hospital if I had to. I would sit on his car all day until he came outside if I needed to. My journey was over. “Alright, he’s in office 389A. Third floor, second hallway on your right.”</p>
<p>“Thank you!” I tried to shout to her, but my feet were already running. I didn’t have the capacity to wait for an elevator. I sprinted up the stairs as fast as I could, refusing to let myself trip. Not today.</p>
<p>Third floor. What was I going to say to him? What if there was a different doctor named Carlisle Cullen who also happened to drive a black Mercedes? No. That’s crazy. </p>
<p>Second hallway on the right. The first room I saw was 371A. I sprinted past a few more doors, and came to a stop. 389A, the plaque on the door read. The numbers seemed to stare back at me. The door loomed over me ominously, even though it was identical to the others. I raised a shaky hand to knock on it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Reunited</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Come in, it’s unlocked.” That perfect silky smooth voice came through the door. Carlisle was really here. </p>
<p>My unsteady hand reached for the doorknob. It turned as if in slow motion. As soon as the door was open, I saw the back of his head, the perfect blond hair, and he took a deep breath as he caught my scent. In a split second, he was out of his chair, reaching for me. His hand touched mine, and all of the exhaustion of the trip, both physical and mental suddenly caught up with me. My knees started to give out beneath me, and I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. In one fluid motion, he pulled me into the office and shut the door behind me before anyone noticed any commotion.</p>
<p>“Goodness, Bella. Are you alright? How did you get here?” I simply shook my head, lost for words. I leaned against the wall and slid down until I was sitting on the floor, my head in my hands. Carlisle reached for a box of tissues and joined me on the floor. For several minutes, he let me lean on him and cry. He stroked my hair and held me close until I calmed down.</p>
<p>When the tears stopped, I looked him in the eye for the first time. “Hi.” My voice croaked. I tried to smile. </p>
<p>“Hi. Let’s talk? I imagine there’s a lot you want to say to me.” His golden eyes calmed my soul. This was my favorite thing about Carlisle. When you spoke to him, he always made sure that you have his full attention. He was attentive and detail oriented and cared for me in a way that I have never felt from my actual parents. I couldn’t imagine him not in my life again.</p>
<p>I nodded. “Please don’t leave me again. I don’t know what I’ll do. I can’t -” I begged.</p>
<p>He held up a hand to stop me. “You have my word. No matter what Edward says. I can’t believe I went along with his plan.” He shook his head, disappointed in himself. “If you’re still interested in a forever with us, I promise I will give you forever. And anything else you desire.” </p>
<p>I sighed in relief. “Yes I do. I really do. I’ve been lost without you guys.”</p>
<p>“Okay, let’s get out of here and talk somewhere alone before we go to the house? I don’t want the people here asking questions.” He stood. </p>
<p>“Yeah, let’s go.” It had been so long since I had been in the presence of any vampires. I had almost forgotten how mesmerizing they were. It barely mattered what he had said. I would agree to anything he asked of me. I wanted to follow him to the ends of the universe.</p>
<p>Carlisle held my hand and pulled me off the floor. I clutched at his shirt, as if I let go, he might disappear. He put an arm around my shoulders as he opened the door and ushered me out into the hallway. </p>
<p>Immediately, several nurses swarmed around him.</p>
<p>“Dr. Cullen, could you help me check this patient’s vitals?”</p>
<p>“Dr. Cullen, someone in room 328 needs you -”</p>
<p>	“I’m not the only doctor on the floor.” He said firmly. “I have a family emergency to tend to. Dr. Johnson or Dr. Decker can help you.”</p>
<p>	Their eyes filled with a million questions about the homeless looking girl leaning on the beautiful doctor. </p>
<p>	“That’s not Esme.” I heard one of them whisper. </p>
<p>	Carlisle silenced them with a look. </p>
<p>	He led me down the hall and into the elevator. Once the doors slid closed, he seemed to relax a bit for the first time. His eyes were sad. </p>
<p>	“I can tell you’re not well, Bella. I never imagined that us leaving would have done this to you. But now that you’re here, I shouldn’t say I’m surprised.” He studied me with a doctor’s eye. </p>
<p>	“Edward promised me I’d be able to go back to my human life, before I met you guys. And I tried, Carlisle. I really did. But the nightmares, and the hallucinations, I was seeing you guys everywhere. I would go to your house, and it was empty, like it felt haunted and lonely but I couldn’t stay away either…” I trailed off at how crazy I sounded. I hadn’t yet said what I had experienced out loud before. </p>
<p>	The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. </p>
<p>	“Good afternoon, Dr. Cullen,” Another doctor said flirtatiously. She smiled and bit her lip. </p>
<p>	“Good afternoon.” He said politely, but clearly did not return the feeling.</p>
<p>	He walked quickly towards the main doors towards the parking lot, I fell into step beside him.</p>
<p>	“How do you put up with that?” I nodded behind me, hoping he caught my meaning.</p>
<p>	He smiled at me. “You get used to it. You should know. You know what I am and the kind of power we exude over humans, yet you still can’t hardly keep your eyes and hands off of me.” He said with a wink. </p>
<p>	I blushed, looked at the floor, and shoved my hands in my pockets. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I didn’t want to lose you again, and I-” I looked back up and those piercing golden eyes were staring at me again. My heart thudded uncomfortably. Shit. </p>
<p>	He laughed out loud. “Don’t apologize, I was only teasing. I don’t mind. I missed you too.” </p>
<p>	***</p>
<p>	Leaning back in the car, I finally felt some peace. I could feel the familiar power of the car speeding way too fast, I watched Carlisle’s steady hand on the gearshift. It was so smooth. </p>
<p>	I jolted with a memory. “My car - I left it at the hospital - my stuff!”</p>
<p>	“We’ll get it for you later, don’t worry.” Carlisle said calmly. He was silent for a moment. “Do you want to talk now? Tell me everything you’ve been through.”</p>
<p>	“It’s not pretty.” I muttered.</p>
<p>	He pulled the car off to the side of the road. “Let’s take a walk through here. This is my favorite spot to go to clear my head. It’s beautiful here. And I can tell you have a lot to get off your chest.” He urged.</p>
<p>	I agreed, trying to ignore the parallels of my last walk through the woods, but I trusted this would be different. Plus, Carlisle knew he couldn’t hide from me again. The New England trees towered over us, I could hear the birds in every direction. The cloudy skies weren’t all that different from the weather in Forks. I could see how this felt like home to him. </p>
<p>	He waited patiently for me to start talking. I took a steadying breath. “At first when Edward left me, it didn’t feel real. I was in a daze. I kept waiting to wake up from a bad dream. It was like I was a living nightmare that never ended. And then the real nightmares started too. Every night. I would wake up screaming. Charlie would come running into my room, all the time, to check on me. He tried to help.” I shrugged. “There was nothing he could do for me.”</p>
<p>	Carlisle's expression was dark and remorseful. “What were the nightmares about?”</p>
<p>	“Nothing. Emptiness. I would see Edward’s face or Alice’s or yours. And I would reach for him, and he would fade into nothing. I dreamt about your house too. Those dreams convinced me that you still might be there. So I started visiting your house, and the emptiness became even more real. It was overgrown and dark, like a vampire’s house in the movies.” I shuddered at the memories. </p>
<p>	“At first I was sad and alone, and then after some time I became angry.” I started to raise my voice unconsciously. “How could Edward have done this to me? I thought we were family!” I wanted to cry. “You let him walk away. After all that he promised. And you promised me!” I stopped walking to turn and face him. </p>
<p>	“You have every right to be angry at me, Bella.” His face was apologetic but he encouraged me to keep going. I could see the peaceful soul behind his eyes, but for once, it made no difference. Months of anger that I had kept bottled up suddenly spilled over. </p>
<p>	“Edward changed me in a way that I never dreamed possible. I felt love like I had never known. And not just a soul mate, but friends, and brothers and sisters, and parents. Charlie is clueless and I’ve had to grow up on my own most of my life. I’ve never had any direction, I’ve been so lost. And then you became the father figure that I never knew I needed! And you took that away from me!” My hands balled into fists as the pressure built up inside me. I took a step closer to him. “You let my entire family walk away from me! My future, my love, my hopes and dreams! All gone! How dare you!” I screamed, my instincts took over. I wanted to hurt him. </p>
<p>	I didn’t care how beautiful and perfect he was. He should have dissuaded Edward and he didn’t. He should have at least come to talk to me personally before they left, and he didn’t. I raised a fist. </p>
<p>	In a split second, he had a hand around my wrist, stopped in midair. “You have every right to be furious with me, but I will do everything in my power to make this right. And we both know that this won’t do any good.” </p>
<p>	For a solid minute, we both were frozen. We stared at each other, my hands shaking in fury. HIs grip around my wrist tightened. “Don’t.” He whispered. He seemed surprised that I would raise a hand to him, but at the same time there was no denying the predator before me, and I was no match for him physically. There was a lengthy pause before I spoke again, trying to collect my thoughts. </p>
<p>	“Yeah. I’m really sorry, Carlisle. I don’t hate you. How could I?” I put my hand down, embarrassed that it even came to that. </p>
<p>	“If you still want to hurt me after you’re changed, we’ll talk. Make it a fair fight?” He tried to lighten the mood. </p>
<p>	I forced a laugh as he continued along the trail. I was happy that his willingness to change me had not faded. When he was a few paces ahead of me, Carlisle’s phone rang. </p>
<p>	“Hi love.” He said. Esme. “What did Alice see?” The look on his face told me that Alice had seen uncertainty. The only thing that truly scared her. “I’m just fine, please tell her all is well.” He hesitated and looked at me. “I have a surprise though, something unexpected happened today. I’ll be home shortly to explain everything.” Another long pause. “It would be better if I didn’t tell you quite yet. I’ll see you soon. Love you.” He hung up. </p>
<p>	“Sorry about that.” He said to me. “I didn’t want you in Esme’s thoughts yet. I don’t want to give Edward a chance to run away. Let’s go home?”</p>
<p>	Home. “Let’s go home.” That word felt so good to say.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Broken</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The drive back was quiet. I was anxious to see Edward, my mind constantly reminding me of the last awful moment where I saw him in the woods in Forks. While Carlisle reassured me that Edward was still in love with me, and still destined to be my mate, the echoes of the last words he spoke to me rang through my head. We had a lot of work to do between us. </p>
<p>	I tried to distract myself from those thoughts. “What should I say to Jasper?” I asked Carlisle. “I hope he knows I don’t blame him.”</p>
<p>	Carlisle was thoughtful. “He resented himself immediately after it happened. You may have imagined that Edward was not the kindest to him. But they are brothers, and they came around to each other eventually.” He looked at me. “Though I do believe that Jasper took advantage of his abilities in order to make that happen sooner than I would have anticipated.” </p>
<p>	I tried to smile. “I’ll take responsibility for my own clumsiness. I should have been more careful. I’m really sorry, Carlisle. For causing so many problems in your family.” I said stiffly. It sounded too formal. </p>
<p>	“Bella.” He said sternly. We were stopped at a red light, so he turned to give me his full attention. “You are as much my family as the rest of them. You’re one of us. The bonds between members of a coven are not easily broken.”</p>
<p>	Coven. That word rang in my head. It carried the strength and the power of the 400 year old patriarch. I suddenly realized the weight of the responsibility that he carried, caring for what would soon be eight vampires blending into human society. </p>
<p>	He turned off the main road into a winding driveway. The first section of the driveway was dark, obscured from prying humans. After the curvy road wound to the left, the way was illuminated with fairy lights hanging from the trees. The lights shown on the huge ten car garage, and the three story mansion, filled with floor-to-ceiling windows. It was remarkably similar to the house back in Forks. I recognized the huge gray Jeep, the yellow Porsche, and the stupid shiny Volvo. Home sweet home. </p>
<p>	Carlisle parked the car, and was at my door in an instant to open it for me, always the gentleman. As we approached the house, he gestured for me to stay a half-step behind him. Just in case. The moment he opened the front door, there was a whirring of movement as everyone suddenly appeared in the living room; Esme was the closest, anxious after her vague call with Carlisle earlier. </p>
<p>	My eyes fixated on Edward. He stared at me, his expression blank and unreadable. Was it anger? Sadness? Was he happy to see me?</p>
<p>	Alice’s face quickly shifted from frightened uncertainty to overjoyed as her eyes came into focus from a vision. “Bella!” She exclaimed. “Oh my gosh. What are you doing here?” Her eyes twinkled. </p>
<p>	Before I had a chance to take a breath to respond to her, I was crushed and lifted into the air by a pair of arms that were bigger than my entire body. “Good to see you again, little sister!”</p>
<p>	He released me enough to allow me to turn to face him. “Emmett!” I squeaked. The mischievous glint in his eye told me that he had been up to his same old shenanigans, and nothing had changed between me and him. That was such a relief. Rosalie stood behind him, her fiery beauty radiating like thunder, staring at me dangerously. </p>
<p>	“Rosalie,” I desperately wanted to make peace with her. It was going to be a long eternity, sharing a home with a vampire that hated me. “I had to do what was best for me, I hope you understand.” I pleaded.</p>
<p>	Her expression turned from anger to sadness. “You chose wrong.” She said softly. </p>
<p>	In the background, I noted that Carlisle was filling in the rest of the family of our conversation, and my journey here. I silently thanked him for not forcing me to retell that story again. He spoke in a quick even cadence, getting them up to speed in a matter of seconds. </p>
<p>	I also noticed Jasper standing in the back corner of the living room, nervous to get any closer to me. I would make things right between me and him, but I had other priorities at the moment, and it appeared Emmett did too. </p>
<p>	“Hey bro, you gonna come say hi to your girl?” Emmett grabbed my arm and eagerly dragged me towards Edward quicker than my human feet could carry me.</p>
<p>	I threw my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. God, he smelled so good. Did he always smell this good? I looked up at his perfect face and I was dazzled. We had once used that word jokingly when I first found out his truth, but after my embarrassing slip up with Carlisle earlier, that paled in my comparison. My heart ached with the damage that had been done, but my soul had been reunited with its other half. We were going to be okay. I could feel it. </p>
<p>	“I love you,” He whispered in my ear. </p>
<p>	“I love you more.” I responded, leaning in for a kiss. </p>
<p>	He quickly obliged, but pulled back. “I owe you a million apologies, and then a million more for the way I hurt you. I truly believed that you would be happier without us. I see now how wrong I was. I’ll be forever grateful if you’ll still have me.”</p>
<p>	“Of course, Edward!” I laughed. “You think I would have driven across the entire country if I wasn’t interested? What a road trip that would have been.”</p>
<p>	He smiled and squeezed my hand. We went towards the dining room table, where we all gathered for some much needed catching up. It felt normal, like the family was whole again. I couldn’t get it out of my head, that this group of beyond perfect beings, otherworldly in their abilities, accepted me as one of their own. It reminded me that my hair was still in a knot on top of my head, matted and tangled, and it had been days since I showered, but nobody seemed to mind. </p>
<p>***<br/>	Later that night, I took a good long hot shower, like I hadn’t done properly in weeks. I let go all of the tension I was holding in, all of the stress, all of the anxiety I had over what I would have done if my mission had failed. I stood in the luxurious white marble shower, and let it all melt away with the boiling water. Only the best for my favorite vampires. Esme had even gone out of her way to make a lovely dinner for me, which I truly appreciated, but felt guilty about how much work she put into caring for my human needs. Being surrounded by immortality felt tedious and slow. I had only been here for a few hours, but I already could not wait to leave this life behind me. </p>
<p>	I turned off the water and reached for a towel. Even the towel had that overly plush extra soft hotel towel feeling. They never did anything halfway. I took my time brushing out my hair, meticulously sectioning it out, getting out every tangle one by one. By the time I was done, I started to feel like myself again.</p>
<p>	I went down the hallway to Edward’s room to find a bed. It’s as if he knew I would be back for him. I also found my belongings from my car left in the room, and from the window, I could see my car in the garage. My heart gushed with love at these little gestures, regardless of which one of them had actually done it. </p>
<p>	I climbed into the bed, sinking into the soft sheets. “Edward?” I whispered. </p>
<p>	He appeared at the door within a second, and slowly walked to the bed at human speed. I smiled at him and gestured for him to sit on the bed next to me. Edward got into the bed with me and pressed himself against me. With his arms around me, I felt warm and safe, here at home. There was a lot of work still to be done, but we all had learned from our mistakes. We would never be alone again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading! I'm not really sure where I'm going with this story, so I'm going to leave it here for now. But if you tell me what you'd like to see happen next, I might add to it! xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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